Qu'est-ce que c'est ?

http://ancientwayinapost-modernworld.blogspot.com/2009/06/what-is-my-faith-story.html

Thanks, Josh. Just the fact that you read and cared enough to respond means a lot.

For me, it's been a conglomeration of things. I have met with so many people questioning things and so many propundants of ideas that I don't see in the Bible (or that seem so contradictory to what seems "right"). There have been so many inconsistencies in what I've read and what I've seen and heard. I have read conservative views of passages in the Bible that, if the Bible is to be read literally, would be right! (Example: women in the church passage.)

On the other hand, the church constantly preaches eternal salvation, while Hebrews 6:4-6 states, “For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, if they fall away, to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again for themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame.” Hebrews 10:26 also states, "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God." I believe that much of sin is intentional, because we know, for example, that we shouldn't be gossipping, but do it anyway. Lying is intentional. Lots of things are intentional. So, if it can't be forgiven, and that sin stands in the way of God and me, what's the point in trying to get back to God with an unremovable roadblock between us?

In the past couple years, I confessed some pretty big stuff (hoping for accountability and a "public" confession) to a few people who had three responses: a) a sort of uncomfortable "I don't want to hear this" and a change of subject, followed by a total avoidance of that conversation from then on; b) "I'm glad you can tell me this," followed by no accountability; and c) "That's fine; I've done worse" or "I'm have no right to judge," followed by actual encouragement to continue down the road I've tried to get away from. What I've discovered is that the people who are the least judgmental are often also the least able to help. The most likely to help, however, can't get over their sanctimony to even be approachable or helpful.

I've also been exposed to the whole "Creation vs. Evolution" debate (does it really matter how God did it? sheesh), the issue of the Trinity (an idea molded by man based on interpretations of the Bible, but not shared by all and described as heresy and idolatry by the Jews), the whole faith/works dynamic (Eph. 2:8, the sheep and the goats, James 2:20), etc. For example, if I get married, I have to submit to my husband's will, even when I believe he is wrong, because I have no say? And he doesn't have to submit because he is the man/husband and doesn't have a chromosome in common with a dead woman who gave a piece of forbidden fruit to a dead man? And I know that this has been the traditional (now the most conservative) reading of this text for 2,000 years! I believe that this is unjust, and if this conservative view is not truth, then how do I know the Trinity is? So those guys we trust to have been inspired by the text were actually wrong (or at least misguided) on one part but right on all the other parts? Then why should we trust that they were divinely inspired? When Paul gives his opinions on marriage, we just trust that his opinions were right, because, hey, he was Paul, right? He himself says that he's only going on opinion there, though. Sex outside of marriage — a cultural or philosophical thing? It's not specifically in the Bible. Closest I can get is, "Daughters of Zion, I charge you by the gazelles and the does of the field, do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." (Don't get me wrong, here, I would advocate against premarital sex and messing around for a whole slew of other reasons anyway.)

I have more questions than answers, and all I can get when I try to find answers is opinions. But truth, aletheia, is much higher than a yahoo forum or ask.com entry. I can't settle for opinions. Who knows.