The Holiday time

I guess it's just something that creeps up on me every once in awhile, but I get into this overly sentimental, girly-girl mood (adult terminology escapes me at 3:15 am). It probably has something to do with hormones or something, a bit to do with the fact that I went dancing last night (which is why I slept in so late today and thus am still awake now), and something to do with the fact that I've been so busy lately that I've been cut off from everyone. As the fog of my community warms off, so does my tough self-reliance.

Tonight, I had the urge to watch a chick flick. The Holiday, in fact. And I can't help but identify with the characters. Although I've never been in that intense, "unrequited love" situation or experienced that cheating boyfriend scenario (well, mostly), I've been the awkward, quirky one, the complicated mess and the verbal vomiter.

I've gotta say, though, that my favorite character is Arthur. But I digress.

It would be really nice to find someone whose awkwardness I love and who loves mine in return. As in, someone of the opposite gender. Eventually. I'd just rather know now that it will happen later, because, in spite of high hopes, I can be a real cynic.

I want to be as compassionate as Iris, as wise as Arthur, as happily quirky as Miles, as optimistic (and as great an encourager of my kids' imaginations and as fun a parent, someday) as Graham, and as unabashed as Amanda. So many great characters. Now this is entirely too literary of me, but most "round" or non-stereotypical characters are negative characters, or somehow obviously unlikeable in some area of their personalities. These are all likeable and sympathetic characters, and you just can't really dislike them for their faults. I like that optimistic look at people as a whole -- that, somehow, our "pros" and our "cons" add up to something better than our "pros" alone, at least for someone. I want to find that. I want to embody that. And in the meantime, I want to think that's possible and make it possible.