I'm all moved in. I've been keeping busy with my job at the assisted living place nearby, and it tires me out. There's not too much news. My great aunt Betty died, and that's news in and of itself. It was . . . yeah. It was really sad. I want to be the kind of woman that my Aunt Betty was someday -- a feisty, loving, living-it-out Christian woman with evanescent optimism. I don't really feel like typing tonight. I'm sorry. I cleaned the house up this morning before I headed into work this afternoon, and I'm also helping my mom a bit with homework. I just want to go home and sleep. My cousin Ian's open house, too, that was something else that happened recently. My power cord for my laptop broke off -- I think I remember Cody trying to plug it into my mom's laptop, and I'd bet he broke it off accidentally trying to force it in. Kristyn and I had a girls' night last night and watched . . . shoot . . . oh, 27 Dresses. Ethan got a tattoo. At a fairgrounds. While he was drunk. (Is there any other reason to get a tattoo at a fairgrounds? Seriously. Haha.) My mom got a sheltie named Shelby. God is and has been good through blessings and curses.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
"Here he goes again on his own . . . "
My mom still refuses to cover a debt that she stuck my brother with, and now he's vowed to cut off any contact with her. In fact, he told her that her lawyer will have to talk to him. If you ask me, she had it coming. And as soon as he told her his intentions, she tried to cut him off at the knees by taking back whatever support she could first think of for him -- she told him that he couldn't use the dresser that my great-grandpa built, the one that I had just asked to be able to use in the fall when I go away. So we'll be in a house with no dressers, but at least I'll have my hope chest. And I decided that if she's going to play that ridiculously dirty, then I'll take my wash basin that's full of her recipe books that my great grandpa gave to me. I'll have space for it in my room in the fall anyway. She's ridiculous. It makes me want to do the same, but I know I could never cut off a family member forever. Family is just important, even if they suck royally sometimes.
Cody just came down here and accused me of being a coward for not telling her off and letting her know that I think she's being a jerk. I guess that I thought I'd try to beat her in the game she thought she was winning (taking things away, playing the dirty passive-agressive card), but apparently Cody just thinks it requires in-your-face, "you're wrong" statements. I'll probably tell her that she's wrong. I just didn't want her to get too emotional because I hate dealing with it, cleaning up the emotional mess of the person who seems to me to be inflicting the most pain on everyone else intentionally. It's despicable. I hate family, but I feel this responsibility to maintain it. It's a disgusting feeling, one that allows me to be the "fixer" and the easiest to manipulate and then the easiest to treat as if nothing had happened. And I allow it, because I don't want to win for revenge (most of the time), and Cody and my mom are both intensely controlling over each other. That's why they always fight; neither will back down for fear of being wrong, of being the weaker person, of not winning.
More news
I'm going to start my job pretty soon, and I'm getting re-certified for CPR and first aid next Wednesday night. I'm thinking that, if my dad doesn't want Cody and I to help him tonight, we might be able to move into the Breckenridge house tonight!That would be fantastic, but I doubt it will happen.
I started moving stuff over yesterday, and Cody asked me if Mom has tried to change my mind about moving yet. I told him no, but she had randomly told me that "if it wasn't for Ginger, we'd (she and Bob) be getting two Sheltie puppies instead of just one." I knew she was dropping a hint, but I'm not sure for what. She knows that I can't take her to college with me, because I don't think I can have pets where I'm renting. I wondered then, and I'm still wondering, if she wants us to take Ginger for the summer? But Cody made a good point: he said that she'll probably get both dogs and then use that as an excuse to get rid of Ginger at the end of the summer when we leave her here. It sounds like a low blow, but she did it with my cat -- she got an extra dog, and suddenly she couldn't afford to keep the cat indoors, it was too much of a hassle, blah, blah, blah, and she ended up throwing a declawed cat outdoors in the country to fend for himself. Needless to say, he died (disappeared, technically, but we have freaking raccoons out here).
The ironic thing was, as soon as I got home my mom actually intimated that my medical insurance would be cancelled if I moved into the Breckenridge house for the summer, but she made it sound all official, like she had to because of the state (but it didn't quite match up with her previous story). I'm still getting my mail here, and the only thing going to that address is a bill for the water and utilities in Cody's name. We're going to have to move our extra stuff back in here at the end of the summer, because if we live with our dad, she'll cut off our medical insurance (partially because she has to, and partially because she's a control freak and a few other things). Oh well. I'll be out of here soon, and then I'll never have to stay here for too long after that.
I talked to Beth Ann, my landlord/roommate for next year. I'm going to move down later than the first of August, but she okayed sending her a check through the mail by the first. She also said that I can paint my room, as long as she approves the color. I can't wait! That'll be awesome. I'm thinking that I'd like to pull in colors from my Van Gogh ("Café Terrace at Night") print -- yellow walls with accents in orange, brown, and some blue and green accents throughout the room -- something tropical, maybe with a soft yellow-white trim around the windows and ash-colored wood shades or brown trim and a colorful Roman shade. I think that's why I love that painting so much -- I absolutely love the colors. But I need to get back to this laundry and packing.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Work, moving out, and the slowness of life -- I feel like I'm living in the South!!!
Just a quick update -- I'm apparently "medically fit" to work in an adult foster care, and good news! I don't have tuberculosis. Haha I kinda think I would have noticed if I did, but hey. Whatever. I actually started the application process a week and a half ago, so I'm getting really antsy to start work. Turns out that I need to have mTy CPR/First Aid certification before I can start training now, though; I guess it's a new state requirement. If there's room for me tomorrow night, I'll be taking the class with my favorite respiratory therapist at the fire department. Deb Smith was my advisor for the Student Athletic Trainers' Club in high school. I worked practically every JV and Varsity football game with her, and I pretty much just love the woman. She's amazing. She's like another Patty Davey to me, one of the most influential women in my life. And she's hilarious! :) I'm looking forward to this re-certification.
Cody and I had been planning to move out tomorrow night, but now it looks like we'll have to move out on Wednesday night. We've been helping our dad cut up a bunch of trees in Lorie's driveway every other night, too (thank you, Rails for Trails, for heating my dad's house this winter). I'm hoping that he won't be upset that I'll be busy two nights in a row, but what can I do about it? I just wish we were moving out tonight, but we're totally not ready for that yet. Cody wants to get his old clothes around so he can put them in Kristyn's yard sale and make some money to put toward new clothes. I'd rather take my extra clothes to Goodwill and be done with it. I feel like this is going to get drug out so long that I'll end up being sick of it before we actually start. I'm going right now to go start moving our college stuff out of the garage and up to the Breckenridge house. At least that way I'll feel like I've put a tiny dent in what we need to get done. Why does everything have to take so much time around here? I guess I'm too impatient.
Side notes: 1) I was rolling a stump yesterday up to the log splitter, but a knot rolled right into my big toe, leaving me a blood blister under the nail. It hurt like CRAP! I was glad the chainsaw and the splitter were both going, because the noise masked the huge yell I let out. It's fine now, though. 2) Yesterday I went to church for the first time in a really long time. I woke up at 10:30 and hurried to the 11 o'clock service (late). It was weird because there were so few people there, but I knew almost everyone I saw. I felt bad for being away for so long, though, so I kind of pushed my way through the mass of the crowd to the front to talk to the most familiar faces. I hope no one felt snubbed; I always feel rude when I don't give someone I see in church my full attention, but walk over to someone else I know better. I sat next to Michelle, too, but I didn't really actually talk to her at all. Anyway, the point I was going to make was that Nathan gave a message about our preferences versus our ethics in church and how divisiveness is not going to help in this time of change for us. I know that Nathan, Jen, and the Bartniks (and probably Dawn and others that I don't even know about) are all really busy trying to keep things running smoothly, and I'd like to do something for them. I'll have to think about how to do that in a financially feasible and still well-targeted way. I don't know. We'll see.
