anita has a dream . . . i just theorize

old post from myspace that i thought i'd bring over here . . .

i have a theory: that being constantly reminded of and held to the sum of your flaws keeps your from rising above them. because some of these unsavory qualities can be overcome, and some will remain or even increase as time passes by. the trick is to know which ones are part of you and stick with you, and to know which are possible to shed completely, or to considerably improve upon, or merely to accept as struggles of shadows that will walk side by side with you until darkness finally separates you, frees you.

this is why unbalanced or unchecked self awareness can be dangerous. this 'awareness' is more like pointless martyrdom when its focus is solely on knowing your own flaws, because then, you lose the ability power, not the ability, to truly change and grow into the person you have the potential to be. if only i knew how to balance far-fetched optimism and plans with the weight of my shadow to peel a few layers off that load.