To jump, or not to jump?

     There's something that God may be calling me to do, and now I'm having second thoughts. It's something I've been praying for for awhile, but it requires a level of vulnerability to which I'm not accustomed. I don't know if I actually want to do this now; my flesh is eyeing the door as my spirit holds out for more confirmation. It's ironic, really, that only yesterday I decided I would split my week up into groups of prayers for each day, because otherwise my prayers cast so wide a net that they take forever (usually on into sleep time). I'm lightly begrudging the fact that now my calendar glares the words "Encouragement/Unity, Roommates, Middle Agers, Community, Family, Accountability" at me from across the room. Grr. Sometimes I am not the most willing worker in the Fields. But I guess this is where Christianity starts to smart a little bit, costing me something that wants to stay in my hand, something I sometimes want to keep in my hand. 

     I think I've been looking for something easier. There's a chance that serious trouble might come of this, but then again, Goliath could have pulverized David if David's errand had not come from God himself. Who knows? But I'm still longing for confirmation so I don't jump prematurely or without God's urging.