"Here he goes again on his own . . . "

     My mom still refuses to cover a debt that she stuck my brother with, and now he's vowed to cut off any contact with her. In fact, he told her that her lawyer will have to talk to him. If you ask me, she had it coming. And as soon as he told her his intentions, she tried to cut him off at the knees by taking back whatever support she could first think of for him -- she told him that he couldn't use the dresser that my great-grandpa built, the one that I had just asked to be able to use in the fall when I go away. So we'll be in a house with no dressers, but at least I'll have my hope chest. And I decided that if she's going to play that ridiculously dirty, then I'll take my wash basin that's full of her recipe books that my great grandpa gave to me. I'll have space for it in my room in the fall anyway. She's ridiculous. It makes me want to do the same, but I know I could never cut off a family member forever. Family is just important, even if they suck royally sometimes. 

     Cody just came down here and accused me of being a coward for not telling her off and letting her know that I think she's being a jerk. I guess that I thought I'd try to beat her in the game she thought she was winning (taking things away, playing the dirty passive-agressive card), but apparently Cody just thinks it requires in-your-face, "you're wrong" statements. I'll probably tell her that she's wrong. I just didn't want her to get too emotional because I hate dealing with it, cleaning up the emotional mess of the person who seems to me to be inflicting the most pain on everyone else intentionally. It's despicable. I hate family, but I feel this responsibility to maintain it. It's a disgusting feeling, one that allows me to be the "fixer" and the easiest to manipulate and then the easiest to treat as if nothing had happened. And I allow it, because I don't want to win for revenge (most of the time), and Cody and my mom are both intensely controlling over each other. That's why they always fight; neither will back down for fear of being wrong, of being the weaker person, of not winning.