So I'm finally becoming an adult (I think). Cody and I talked to our mom, and Bob, who thankfully kept things calm and mostly rational, and told her that we're moving out. We've been stuck between two fighting parents for what seems like forever, and my mom had pulled some -- let's just say un-motherly -- stuff on my brother, too. We've always been faced with living with my mom or my dad, the the thundering, raging workaholic. Instead, we'll both be "on our own" for the first time in a place that hasn't been owned by AU. I'm totally stoked. I think it'll be a little bit interesting to adjust to, though, because Cody and I of course have our fights from time to time like any normal siblings.
As for the job sitch, I just got the all-clear on a physical on Thursday to work part-time at an adult foster care (apparently the new politically correct term for a nursing home? but I think it sounds just as bad). I got my second Hep B shot then and came back for a TB test yesterday so they can "read it" on Monday. After that, I'm all clear to start training for my summer job. (I'm still hoping I can get another job, since the goal was to actually make enough money to pay off all my bills and be able to put some back for the fall.) Gratiot County is probably the worst place, outside of the middle of a desert or the north or south pole, to look for a job, though. Adults much older than me are laid off, and construction for the new ethanol plant has been temporarily waylaid due to a lack of funding. No new jobs there. Ugh. It's frustrating. Our economy in Michigan is so bad that we've had full ads promising us rainbows from each of the Presidential election candidates, but we've heard it all before. I can't think of anyone that actually believes a politician will get us out of this mess, and I don't like the idea of keeping a losing war going just so we can boost the economy. (I'm not so biased as to think that's the whole and singular reason, though.)
Speaking of the Iraq War, though -- now I'll open up a can of worms with my opinions and join in the pool of idiots everywhere who have ignorant and asinine opinions on it. I think President Bush made a visceral reaction that I myself supported at the time. The idea that someone can murder thousands of people and get away with it offends us all. And although I knew little about Islam or anythingabout the Middle East, I had a mistrust of Arab peoples from stories about my dad getting ripped off at car auctions by some Arab car dealers. I'll admit, after talking to some international students about Indian and Arab business practices, I still find the notion that "business smarts" could ever include intentional deception strikes me as not only distasteful, but just morally offensive. I'm still struggling to incorporate this with the idea that various acts are looked at differently by separate cultures and religions. Anyway, that was my admittance of bias.
I think that President Bush acted, like I said, out of an emotional response, but I also think that he acted in the "old school" way of responding to an enemy. I think that oil was a factor, but I don't think it was the only reason at all. I think it was probably just another advantage, just like boosting the economy was a side benefit.
I believe Bush was and is still sadly uninformed about "terrorist" countries' reasons to partially commiserate with the extremists of al Qaeda. It is ridiculous to walk into a negotiation room knowing little or nothing about the other negotiators' religious and political needs and ways of thinking, and I'm sorry, but our country's Commander-in-Chief should know that. We keep pushing democracy, but very few Muslims (only the most Westernized) actually want a democracy. They want a theocracy!
Also, Muslims all across the Middle East understand the resentful attitude toward the U.S., who supports Israel unswervingly, even as Israeli forces unjustly drop American bombs on Lebanon. Bush didn't even do ANYTHING to punish Israel when Israel just bombed Lebanon out of the blue in recent years. Instead, he tried to start peace negotiations that are still ongoing between Israelis and Palestinians. Although our government's leaders have found it acceptable to threaten to "punish" Iran for its arms program -- I'll get to that -- we have not cut off support for Israel, which is a prime reason we are hated in the Middle East, aside from our support of corrupt and dictatorial regimes through the years and across the Middle East.
I have to question the Republican party's candidates and actual wisdom in handling problems in Iraq when not only our President, but also his Cabinet members and top military leaders do such IDIOTIC acts themselves. The Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay prisons have been exposed for acts of torture to inmates, and our military currently allows "water boarding," which is sadistic, cruel, and obviously a form of torture. Condoleezza Rice practically dares the government of Iran to do something rash and has been known to childishly roll her eyes and make faces while Iranian leaders are speaking at conventions and meetings -- very mature for a top government official. These are our leaders. Faaaaaaantastic.
We're also trying to block Iran from assembling a nuclear arsenal when we have an unnecessarily extravagant one ourselves. In fact, Rice has threatened to punishIran if it does not halt its nuclear program. Apparently, not only can we be hypocritical, we can impose our style of government on Arab nations and punish them like insolent children instead of treating them with respect, equality, and a desire for understanding.
And no offense, but Bush and McCain are both pretty trigger happy. John McCain has been known to sing "Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran" (to "Barbara Ann" by the Beach Boys). What class and tact.
Hillary Clinton is a democrat with a different agenda, but the same mindset as Bush and McCain. Clinton, a woman that I find neither authentic nor interested in respect or understanding for Middle Easterners (and whose earlier White House experience also allowed the Rwandan genocide to go on without any adequate United States interference) said in an interview that she would "totally obliterate" Iran if it ever used a nuclear bomb on Israel. Joe Conason, of the New York Observer, zeroed in on this, writing: "What she obliterated with just those two words were her own boasts of superior diplomatic experience — and she managed at the same time to tar America's international image with all the subtlety of the man she hopes to replace." (I think there's an Emeril-style "BAM!" somewhere in there.)
I don't want either of these blunt instruments as my next President. There's my two cents, and now I'm done shooting my opinions off about politics until hopefully the 2012 election (or later!).
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Reorganization motivation
After mowing the entire lawn over the course of two afternoons/evenings, I finally left for my dad's house. Sometimes I just get so antsy from being cooped up that my legs just start to tingle and itch to go move. So for that reason, and the fact that my mom's incessant nagging was driving me nuts and killing any motivation I had to clean up the house, I high tailed it outta there.
I spent the first day just sleeping in, chillin' around the house, and attempting to help make some sense of the utter chaos that was my dad's paperwork. It was in a huge pile on his upstairs floor, all over the "dining room" floor, on the kitchen counter, and on two tables in the dining room. There are papers in there from 1999 (almost 10 years ago, which seems insane, but that's a whole 'nother issue) on up to 2008. I finally talked to my dad today one-on-one and kind of got an idea of what the system of organization he wanted me to set up/"continue." Anyway, after six and a half hours, I can say that I got most of 2007 sorted, found a few of my dad's important, upcoming bills, and even found some important paperwork that he had apparently been looking long and hard for. (Amazing, right?)
I came back to my mom's house, and after grabbing a shower, I actually had the motivation (let's just call it an overflow from working at my dad's) to go upstairs and go through all of my paperwork. I had notes, labs, sample tests, and note cards from all or most of my biology classes (I think I gave the notes from freshman year to a friend who's on the pre-med track), and I separated them by class (did you know that cell biology and first semester anatomy notes can look awful similar?) so that I can throw 'em all in separate file folders instead of just throwing them all back in a heap at the end of my bed. I had planned on keeping my old cards from my open house (a nasty habit I picked up from my mom, I know . . . ), but I've been going through them and tossing out all but the most important. I even got rid of my old planners and address books, which I have an excess of. I know my mom will have a hissy fit if I throw them away, but I doubt she'll want to use them. If all else fails, I'll burn them when she's not looking. Now all I need to do (haha, like it's so simple -- my room's a mess!) is get rid of that darn treadmill in the middle of my floor (a "gift" from my mom that's been in almost every stinkin' room of the house but hers) and the la-z-boy rocker and old desk that are next to it. I love the random furniture that gets deposited once the normal inhabitant of the bedroom is away at college.
I found these old magnets that were on my fridge freshman year that used to annoy the crap out of me because you could never arrange them and use all of them; plus, the dern things slid off onto the floor all the time. I put them on the fridge down here and organized them in a bit more "artistic" way. They all follow the way I think, so the extras are arranged loosely in groups. "Goals grateful mercy dreams," "do it good," "why be WE us? yes" -- (my attempt at irony), "salvation is big!" and such. My favorites, which I just liked the sound of, are "first of a focus" and "Your future in a time." If I ever had a band, I think I would use one of those as a sweet name. . . . And now my mom is nagging again, so I'm off. Seriously, she doesn't just ask and wait. She asks and nags and whines and goads and pleads andNAGS. She's the biggest pessimist, hiding under an optimistic candy-coating. I recognize it in myself. Grr.
Monday, May 19, 2008
well, it's one o'clock in the morning . . . baby, i just can't treat you right
One thing I have re-discovered: I really like Eric Clapton's music. Really really. Another thing -- where can I get ringtones? I like indie rock and folk music, and for some strange reason they just don't have too much of what I like on Celltop program. They did have "Gronlandic Edit" by Of Montreal, but I couldn't get the stupid thing bought. I've heard that online ringtones often contain viruses, so I'm a little iffy on whether or not I want to get one from the internet. I'd like to get a little Ben Kweller or maybe some Gomez, Rocky Votolato, The Thrills, Brandtson, Damien Rice, Joe Purdy, or even a little Tom Waits (He isn't indie, but who cares?). I'm sure I could find a good Mat Kearney or Derek Webb song on Celltop, though. Hmm. I was hoping I'd come across that song by Whats-his-face from Train, the guy with a name that sounds like an '80s pop star. Pat Monahan, that's it. (I think his name reminds me of Pat Bennetar.)
In other news, I'm back home again in Michigan, missing all my friends from Indiana and longing for things to fill the time. I'm discovering that I don't get much done as far as organizing my room unless my brother's upstairs. Otherwise, it just seems stark and lifeless up there in my chaotic, tired, over-bright, and dusty room. I sent out a couple of applications to nursing homes, and I think that I may end up working for Cody's friend's parents (' great-grandmothers-in-law). I'm just waiting for everything on my application to check out. I put down a family friend as a reference, but I haven't spoken to her for at least a year. I had tried calling her to make sure that this was okay and ask her husband another question, but she never called me back. I had already listed her on the application, though, so I hope things will work out fine. I can't see why they wouldn't.
I'm so excited for Colts football to get here. I was on the Colts and NFL Players Association websites today, and I was reading about Dwight Freeney and Bob Sanders's progress with their respective foot and shoulder rehabilitations. I hope things clear up with Marvin Harrison, and I hope Freeney and Sanders continue healing up patiently (although I'm sure they're both itching to get out on a field and really tear it up). I'm SO glad we got Dominic Rhodes back this year. With the little bit of legal trouble Kenton Keith had, I think there may be a slight bitter taste in the mouths of the coaching and managing staff at the Colts franchise with Keith. It will be interesting to see if the Colts utilize Rhodes in a 2-back set-up. I imagine that they will do just that, with Dominic Rhodes (now #38?!) and the indomitable Joseph Addai at first string. I would guess that Keith and the U of M grad, Mike Hart, will end up at second string. I would imagine that Kenton Keith might want to keep a much lower profile off the field now, though, before the Colts lose patience. It's not the Pacers, for Pete's sake.
After looking at the photos of Rookie/Veteran minicamp, I can't wait for preseason to start! The veterans and the rookies both looked pretty good, but it's hard to tell what kind of a season we'll have a) from pictures, and b) this early in the season. It was mighty nice to see Peyton looking fresh in his photos, though. Allthe vets looked rested up and ready to go. I am disappointed that the Colts won't be playing the Lions for their second preseason game. The schedule was changed so that they'll be facing the Lions in Indy on December 14th. I had been hoping to see the game in Detroit in person, since tickets are much easier to come by here than in Indiana. Plus, my dad was going to get the tickets, and he won't come down to Indianapolis for a team that he doesn't really root for. (He does root for the Lions, but he's lost hope of their winning along the way.)
I was checking out the Colts' employment section, and I'm thinking about trying to get an internship there next year doing sports writing. It would be the best job in the world! I would love to have the opportunity, although I know it's a long shot. I think I'm going to start a new blog just about football, focusing mainly (of course) on the Colts. Even if nothing comes of it, it should be fun. :) And it will easily give me a reason to watch every Colts game and Sportslocker Sunday. Now hopefully my roommates won't mind some loud-mouthed little Michigander yelling and cheering at the tv in the living room every week. (It's all fine and well until a GIRL starts yelling, at least back home with my dad and brother. And yes, I understand that all my screaming and shouting and carrying on does not affect the Colts one way or another, but I hope that my prayers help at least a tiny bit -- although I pray that they can forget the previous bumbled up plays and have confidence, good reads, steady hands, impenetrable teamwork, and positive, focused mindsets. I don't generally pray that they win -- except for that AFC Championship and Super Bowl. I figure that there's always somebody else praying for the other side, and the team who works hardest and thinks clearest wins.)
I had been thinking that this summer would be a totally frustrating and boring one. So far, there have been moments to make that case and others to break it. I've decided, though, that I'm going to try to look at this as something positive. I can get organized with my filing system for bills, homework, et cetera, and i can also get back on track spiritually. I want to dig deep into my Bible and draw up some cool, refreshing water that will cleanse all the debris that piles up through the school year -- mixed up priorities, stress, papers, papers, papers, bad attitudes, mixed up priorities. . . . This is an opportunity that I might not have had at SpringHill, even though it's an amazing place where I always have an awesome God experience (and a heck of a fun time). I wouldn't have had as much free time to really spend with God one-on-one, and I wouldn't have had much time at all to spend outdoors in the area I love and call home. On the other hand, I love my crazy family, but I know that they have always been one of my greatest frustrations, a fact that won't likely change this summer. I'm hoping instead to be able to cope and try to stay patient and calm when I start to get upset or a fight or personal attack starts to take shape. (They often do around here.) We'll see. I need something to do, though, so I'm really praying that this nursing home job will pull through.
I've realized, sadly, that none of my old friends from Gratiot County are really a big part of my life anymore. We've all sort of gone our own separate ways, across the state and into the surrounding states. I'm hoping that I'll get to see my best friend, Steve, sometime this summer and reconnect with old Gratiot County friends and some of my AU friends as well this summer. Otherwise, this is going to be a long and lonely summer . . .
P.S. I saw something in a catalogue today that was hideous, and I could hear Anita saying, "That level of ugliness is almost sort of fascinating in a way." It made me laugh out loud and wish we could share in the hideous boots or purse or whatever it was. It might have been shoes. I don't remember.
Monday, May 5, 2008
one of these days . . .
I should be studying. Obviously, though, I'm not. So at least we've got that clear.
I'm considering deleting all of my facebook friends who have couples pictures up. Okay, it's only a fleeting feeling, but I guess sometimes I think I'd like one of those of my own. And then other times, I hate the very thought of being in a college relationship. Today I went from thinking that (Gee, I like Counting Crows; they're on my launchcast player right now, and I really like this song "You Can't Count On Me." I've never heard it before.) to reflecting that I don't want to be a 22-year-old bride or something really even close like my mom was.
I was watching "Samantha Who?" while I was (not) studying, and I'm not gonna lie, I got a little resentful at her mom's character. She kept pushing Samantha toward all these terrible guys and making Sam feel like a failure for still being single, although Samantha knew that these guys weren't really right for her (one was just creepy). I wanted to watch this with my mom and say, "That's how you make me feel." (The song "Angels & Girlfriends" by Five for Fighting is also fantastic. I have a pretty sweet launchcast station! I mean that with no humility haha. What is a pineapple parking lot? Hmm. I feel madly like creating a great, unique mix again -- it's been too long.) I kept wondering, Do all moms push men off on their daughters like that? Eeks. ("Six Days on the Road" by Sawyer Brown --yessss!!!!!!! I literally feel like getting up and dancing around my apartment in my bathrobe. Maybe mix '80s hair band flailing moves with line dancing? It could be a whole new craze. Hey, "Barbie Girl" became a craze. Don't underestimate the prevailing power of tackiness.) Anyway. I identify with Dana, the awkward, slightly obsessive, homebody friend on "Samantha Who?" that seems like she'll never make it in a normal relationship.
