Thoughts from a Should-Be Graduating Senior

   Who am I so angry at? I say myself, but I include all those people (professors, etc.) whom I've let down over and given bad impressions of me. I include those who have hurt me and those people I have envied -- seemingly "perfect" people who have looked down on me from their secure heights of good grades, status, and good opinion. I know I'm angry at some (the administration) for imposing their standards on me somewhat because of the hypocrisy of these rules and also because I don't feel that I can meet these standards. So why not rail against the rules like an impudent teenager? 

     Matt Ingalls gave a speech in chapel yesterday about these boxes that college and life try to cage us in. He made a really good point -- even though I may focus on the box, resent the cage, I'm missing the point if I don't pay attention to the examples AU has pointed me to -- Martin Luther King, Jr., Jesus, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Jim Elliot, Shane Claiborne, and tons of other people who have thought for themselves, broken the mold, and sought to change the world by putting their visions into words and actions. Isn't this a worthy aim?

     While at AU, I have been taught to think for myself. My beliefs, not just faith beliefs, have been questioned, but I have not been handed answers. Instead, I have been taught to explore the answers for myself, which has led to many great discussions with students, faculty, and even a few of the staff members. Yes, there are boxes that I feel shoved into, but I have also been taught to question these. 

     The only thing I regret is that questioning the good and the wisdom of such a box does not equal escape from it. I still do not know how to break free from the boxes I loathe. Perhaps Matt has found the answer -- by focusing on heroic or admirable examples to strive after, maybe I can ignore the box enough to grow so much as to break it. It seems like a great approach to try, much more effective than just griping about the stupidity of the bars of a cage. Now, for action . . . always the harder part than typing.