the starting line of community, trust, and strength -- let's hope i don't get sacked 8-T

so it's 4:12 am, and i'm stupidly typing a new blog post instead of sleeping. what a bonehead. i've just been thinking a lot about friends and God and keren and spurring one another on and what it means to be spiritually mature/wise. wow. i had thought that i was "at the same level" as one of my friends, and upon reading another blog (and taking a reality check) i guess i have no clue. as in, i get the common sense stuff, but i don't exactly know what i'm lacking in the "deep" department. but i'd love to have deep conversations with people who would challenge me, i think.

God has blessed me with some tremendously great friends. even people that i didn't get to work with or know that well at camp. it's funny how i don't necessarily think ahead to the next convo i'll have with skylar, but i always feel glad to talk to him. i love our conversations and the fact that he just laughs when i say or do awkward things. because i can read sooo much into everyone's reactions and my own failures, but i always know that there's just a grin and a funny look on the other end of the phone before he forgets it anyways. 

i've been talking to eli on facebook (it can't be the devil when we're sharing prayer requests, right?). every once in awhile i start to really WISH that i would have been able to work with eli just so i could hear more about his life and really get to know him and build a deeper friendship with him, but then i catch myself. i'm so glad that i got to work with every single person that i worked with this summer, because i learned something from each of them, if i'm honest and looking hard enough. i'll blog about that some other time, though. but back to eli. he's such a great friend, such a great guy in general. i was on the road to the hospital before keren died, and i talked to eli on the phone. it hadn't struck me before that how tentatively people were talking to me until i talked to him. i was hit by his strength -- a God given strength of character, of friendship and concern, of faith and prayer, and of hope. eli, if you ever read this, thanks for being someone i could turn to, even in just a 5-minute conversation. if verl reminds me of barnabas, you would have to be petros. i've never met someone who was so willing to just be 100% there and who could be so compassionate with such a gale force before. you bring intentionality to the next level, and i think you're the only person or one of the only people that i talked to where i broke down and cried (most of that was AFTER the convo, not so much during it). and i don't cry in front of people if i can help it, so thank you for letting me feel safe enough to do that and for blowing me away with your genuine concern and compassion.

i could go on and on about the people i've met this summer that have changed my heart and my life, but like i said . . . another email. i just pray that i can get back on track enough now that i'm home and away from camp that i can love on people and have God flow through me into everyone around me like you guys do. and now it's bedtime. :)

MUSIC: crickets outside the window

MOOD: loved :)

LOCATION: la casa de mi madre