My list of far-fetched (for me) New Year's resolutions

My list of far-fetched (for me) New Year's resolutions

1. Learn to live with myself.
2. Get disorderly organized -- stay on top of things, but don't force myself to become someone else. It's too exhausting.
3. Get more active in Agathos again -- lead to new heights. Find our niche & lead us toward our vision. Pick up others along the way.
4. Open up. I'm not that socially awkward if I can just be spontaneous, be crazy, have fun, be creative -- go outside (myself)!!!!
5. Get out and meet people, guys and girls. Be open & non-judgmental; be kind. 
6. Talk less, think less, listen more.
7. Find a good job where I can do more than just scrape by.
8. Take someone under my wing.
9. Bible, Bible, Bible.
10. Stop giving up. Become that anal straight-A, academic do-gooder again if I have to next semester to straighten myself out again; I can relax academically into a nice rhythm again later.
11. Eat healthier & keep working out. Stop eating out of boredom.
12. Read the classics -- less TV? Ouch.
13. Find good music. Play around more -- more guitar, singing, piano . . . 
14. Figure out what I have to work with. I know my flaws very well, but what do I do well? What do I actually enjoy; what isn't just a temporary flight of fancy?
15. Stop smoking. Just kidding. (I don't smoke, unless you count filling the wood stove at home and inhaling a lot of that junk.) But get involved with Orange, Black and...Green & either G2G or Neighbors again.
16. Bible study group? Do they have those here at AU? *chuckle* I've never come across one, actually . . . 
17. Pray in conversation, not an appointment.
18. Camp. Climb. Mountain bike? Canoe! Do random outdoorsy things; try new things out.
19. Buy a bike (mountain bike?). Also, replace my stolen iPod. Still trying to figure out how to pay bills AND eat AND pay for gas/laundry/etc.; going to need to find a better job and save a LOT to replace that thing.
20. Use a schedule/planner, but let myself keep a loose schedule, so long as I can keep up. Switch it up somehow when I get bored.
21. Sleep earlier. Wake up earlier.
22. Road trip. (Another unaffordable expense at this point. Too many plans for money, not enough actual capital.) Save money, or go w/ family? Save money for a Tri-S trip next year. Italy would be nice. :)
23. Start to like myself & become the person that I want to be -- but be reasonable.
24. Be more honest and trusting with people; some people actually do care when they ask. I'm becoming way too jaded and cynical of everything and everyone.
25. Be frugal, but work hard so I can have fun. Don't settle to fit in -- choose something that I want to do to treat myself, not something like eating out just because other people are.
26. Try IM sports. It's been awhile, but it'd be fun.
27. Reduce debt.
28. Take a full Sabbath, but make sure I'm choosing extracurriculars on the other days that are my other way of relaxing.
29. Love people better, more. Be a better friend. Get in touch with friends I've lost contact with that meant a lot.
30. Don't ever be content to live the perfect life. There's no such thing; when that happens, it just means that life isn't interesting anymore. I don't want to fall into a pattern; in fact, knowing myself well, I can't. Always keep room for change and spontaneity.
31. Learn to make a reasonable budget. Learn to follow a budget.
32. Have confidence and have faith. I'm starting to see that a lot of the time, when I'm hoping beyond all hope for someone to do the right thing, it doesn't usually happen. (My friends don't often fall under that last category, just acquaintances and random strangers. My boss, the person who found that $40 I lost -- that I owed my brother -- and didn't turn it in, the person who stole my iPod, etc.) And when I've lost the ability to find hope for myself, God steps in and wows me. I have God stories. Just ask me.
33. Let go of bitterness, malice, hurt feelings, and jadedness, and forgive. I don't know what healing looks or feels like, except a bit from when my parents started to split up the first time. The only person that I've healed a lot over is my mom. Everywhere else, I've just calloused over it.
34. Be fallible. Be hurt, when that comes. Deal with things, instead of shoving them all down behind a mask. Work through all those things that I am already experiencing but refuse to acknowledge or let leak to others. Stop being too ashamed to be real.
35. Find a caring, embracing community. Appreciate the people in my life that have been my community, some without even their own or my own realization of it (Jael, Brummett, Jenny, Laura, Toad, Steve, and Mom, I appreciate you all . . . )