estoy triste

tonight i feel depressed for some reason. i dunno why, just do. i get behind on everything, procrastinate, etc., etc., making college much harder, and i hate to say this, but sometimes i kind of feel like all the relationships i've formed here at AU are kind of surfacey. the people i eat dinner with almost every night? i barely talk to all but two of them, and even then . . . i dunno. i guess i wish i was better at making friends or maybe at opening myself up to them and being more sociable. and some of my dearest friends start to drive me nuts. i have no patience, and it feels like i have no personality. i dunno. i guess it's a good thing i have God to talk to. and btw, this seems like it's a culmination of stress, loneliness, sleep deprivation, and most of all, not enough time with God, which keeps my joy in my heart and a song on my lips. nothing funny or beautiful tonight. don't know if i could pull it off anyway.