it's been a week and a half already since school started, and i figured i'd update this page in case anyone reads it (which i don't really imagine happens much/anymore). so if you don't see me or hear from me in months this year, it'll because i was holed up studying in my room so long that i lost the use of my eyes, just like moles. (well, that's not really the science of moles, but i don't have time for that . . . ) wow, i am weird at times with what i talk about. so springhill turned out to be such a positive experience for me, and i can't wait to see a bunch of my SH friends in october for convergence, our college retreat. i miss all the awesome people in my youth group, too, and i can't wait to see them play football, catch up at games, etc. i'm hoping to be home for the breckenridge game on homecoming weekend, and if i can swing it, i just might try and catch the frosh game for ithaca that week (go, brandon!). cody is turning 18 on oct. 6th, so i should definitely be back for that weekend. so far classes are going pretty well. chemistry is just a review, and genetics is really interesting. i have to find around 17 sources for a paper on cloning, though, and then i have to type up a bibliography for them. and i need to get ready for rush, with meetings for 4 nights in a row, then another meeting next tuesday, and rush from wednesday thru saturday. and the following weekend, it's back to michigan (hold up & read the rest!) to work at warner camp & bond with my fellow agathos'ians (agathos is my social club). and i also need to write 2-3 papers for jazz class for next friday, which means going to a jazz concert, which also means i have to find one to go to. all this busyness is really a blessing, though, because i can't handle not having anything to do at school! i'm tutoring on campus, too, and i TA for 3 hours, so i'll basically really value my free time. but on one side, God has really shown me lately that, at least for right now, getting involved in a relationship would really be a dumb thing to have to worry about (take that, AU, with your silly ring by spring!) and so, like he does a lot for me, God is really leading me to journal about it. maybe someday it will help one of my girls from camp or from youth. i can say one thing, though; friendships with guys are so much rewarding when you completely eliminate the possibility-of-a-relationship factor. truly blessings. ok, i'm done now. and this seems kinda pointless. hmmm, i can see cody cringing if he reads this. or having some smart-aleck thing to say. oh well.
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
springhill weeks 1-3
so i'm working at springhill camp 44 in the new fro infirmary this summer. it's the busiest infirmary here at the hill, and we get to take care of junior highers, high schoolers, and counselors and staff here. it's so much fun, so tiring at the same time. i'm really worried about going back to AU in the fall and continuing on with what will be my hardest year of pre-med. i know i shouldn't worry. (Matthew 6:27,34 -- "Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? . . . Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.") the funny thing is, i don't think i even realized that i was worrying about it and working myself up until i just typed this. okay, so one thing that i need to be careful about. another thing that i've been giving my undue attention to is something here at camp. it's kind of a personal issue that i don't want to put on here, but i've been worrying about the situation and worrying about worrying too much. i just need to give it a rest, and let God deal with it. i dunno. i feel like there's something i can do to help, but i don't know if that will make the situation stickier. anyways, if you read this, pray that i can stay focused on what matters. i feel like this thing has drawn me away from God, or like i just don't know what God is saying to me. it's kind of frustrating. i feel like my connection with God is in repair like a road in st. louis right now (only those from michigan will get it -- from anderson, think scatterfield). i've just been leaning on these verses. Hebrews 2:18 "Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." and Hebrews 3:13 "Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess. Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself." and i just found this one: Matthew 7:7-8 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." wow. i just feel like something more should be happening right now. i'm not flying high in my relationship with God, but i'm not totally in the pits right now, either. i feel like i'm getting stagnant. i guess i need to pay more attention to my devos or something. ahhhh! i dunno.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
estoy triste
tonight i feel depressed for some reason. i dunno why, just do. i get behind on everything, procrastinate, etc., etc., making college much harder, and i hate to say this, but sometimes i kind of feel like all the relationships i've formed here at AU are kind of surfacey. the people i eat dinner with almost every night? i barely talk to all but two of them, and even then . . . i dunno. i guess i wish i was better at making friends or maybe at opening myself up to them and being more sociable. and some of my dearest friends start to drive me nuts. i have no patience, and it feels like i have no personality. i dunno. i guess it's a good thing i have God to talk to. and btw, this seems like it's a culmination of stress, loneliness, sleep deprivation, and most of all, not enough time with God, which keeps my joy in my heart and a song on my lips. nothing funny or beautiful tonight. don't know if i could pull it off anyway.
